The One Where She Jizzes Over Carlisle....

I promised RobsSwissMiss that I would be productive with her yesterday, and I failed miserably. I am willing to take whatever punishment she deems suitable.

*crosses fingers for a good spanking*

Ok, well the first (and probably the only) order of business has got to be Carlisle. Especially since Bex (aka Princess Spankhappy) just called me Carlisle's Bitch on Twitter. It's true. I am. I fucking love Peter Facinelli. I mean, I love Rob. I lust after Rob. I would do dirty, dirty things to Rob. But I loooooooooove Peter. But anyway, back to Carlisle. I fucking loooooooove him too. So much so that I bought this:

Yeah, you're seeing that right. That's a full-sized Carlisle. See, I fooled everyone. Because you thought that if I ever actually did it, I'd go with the full-sized Edward. But if I'm gonna share my home with a giant, creepy cardboard standup, it's definitely gonna be Carlisle. The doctor is fucking in, bitches!!!

*confession time*

My favorite fic Carlisle is Emancipation Proclamation Carlisle. How fucked up is that?? I love him. Hard. Even when he's threatening to kill people...gets me all hot and bothered. Tourturing an innocent girl? Kinda hot. And the *really* fucked up part? I can't even read dom/sub fics because that shit scares me. I started Master of the Universe and and had to stop because I was having panic attacks over it. My head is a very fucked up place.

*side note*

I read somewhere recently that Peter said something about how he was going to start reading fic. This scares me a little. But if he does, I would like to suggest to him that he start with EP and then call me to compare notes. And perhaps read aloud to me a few scenes of my choosing.

Ok, so back to RL Peter...did you know that I went to the mall to see him? The only member of the Twi-cast that I've seen in person. And I almost want to keep it that way. Pure, virginal...my first time. Plus I think that if I ever saw Rob in person (and was as close to him as I was to Peter) I would do something stupid. I would try really hard not to, but I can't make any promises. That is not to say that I didn't act like a super human moron when I saw Peter, it's just....different.

Anyway, two tickets to the gun show, anyone?

I was a bad superfan and did not pay to meet Peter or have anything signed by him. The line was stupidly long and filled with those fans who make you ashamed to be associated with Twilight. So I stood in front of the stage and yelled inappropriate things to him, not making anyone around me ashamed to be associated with Twilight. Naturally.

So, to wrap this #jizzfest up, I'm hoping that my full-size Carlisle comes in before February 7. That is both the day that I am hosting a Super Bowl party and the day where I celebrate the one year anniversary of breaking up with my cheating, emotionally abusive ex. Carlisle *so* needs to be there to join in the festivities. And while me, Carlisle, and all our friends celebrate said anniversary and the Saints winning the big game (*wink wink*) douchbag ex will be home alone because he's not invited to the party. Don't think I didn't plan that shit on purpose.

*P.S*

Last week was my homegirl Leighann's birthday. Happy Birthday bitch!!! You're a quarter of a century old and still younger than me. Whatever. We had a party...it was wild. Wanna see a picture? Here: