Sunday, August 30, 2009

I Want To Suck Your Chest, Horney Style.

I didn't get the "me giving 2 thumbs up in front of the New Moon poster" picture. The theater was really crowded, we were late getting there, and on the way out we were so dumbfounded by the poofy-haired hippies riding horses that I forgot about it (don't go see Taking Woodstock, by the way. It sucked). Leighann and I were going to go back to the mall Saturday to buy Landen a mini Rogers 22 jersey, but apparently they don't make them for infants. Bastards. So, I need to go see another movie. Any suggestions? I think I've seen everything that's out that I wanted to see...

Anyway, I had a very relaxing weekend. Bought baby clothes with hedgehogs on them. Yep, hedgehog onsies. Absolutely incredible. I love hedgehogs. I love my godson. I love my godson wearing hedgehog clothes. I love it in the Twilight commentary when Bella's coming out of the bookstore and Rob asks if that's supposed to be him looking at her through the bushes and when they say no, he says it must be a hedgehog. Hedgehogs, Rob, Landen. Perfection.




Hedgehog


Rob


Landen

We watched True Blood from 7:00 p.m. until 3:30 a.m and then again this morning after we got up. Season 2 marathon. It was quite spectacular and a wonderful refresher for the upcoming season finale. As you may have read in a previous post, I wasn't too happy with True Blood towards the middle of the season. I've changed my opinion. It's gotten super good over the past few episodes. One word...Eric.

So you know after the Fellowship guy blows himself up and Eric gets shot and asks Sookie to suck the bullets out? It was about 2 a.m. when we watched that episode and the following is a series of text messages between Brad (who was in Philly. Fuck Philly) Leighann, and myself.


Leighann: I want to suck ur chest, horney style
Brad: Oh god. What? I'm coming
Meg and Leighann to each other: "What do you think he means by that?"
Brad: I might jizz [sorry, I know that mental image is gross. But that's what he said]
Meg and Leighann to each other: "Oh."
Leighann (per Meg): Rob's way ahead of you. Better hurry!
Brad: I will. Oh I will.






I couldn't find a picture of the actual sucking.
This one'll do, and it doesn't have that bitch Sookie in it.

Friday, August 28, 2009

I'll have a Coke and a Rob, Thank You Very Much...

Well, he's back. Thank Christ. I was really starting to go through withdrawal. Which is funny and sad, all at the same time. I'm going to see Taking Woodstock tonight, and I'm psyched not for the movie but because there's a New Moon poster at the theater. Yep. Straight jacket, coming right up.

Thanks to ROBbsessed for the picture. Check them out to see more.


He's squinting because his attraction to me is blinding him...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I need a smoke and a Rob...

I'm having a shitty day and serious Rob withdrawal. I mean come on, son! Go out in public just for a second, look sexy, smoke a cigarette, and then I'll be cool. Is that too much to ask? My cards keep telling me that I'm going to end up with someone who is wealthy, so I'm banking on you. Heading to the East Coast anytime soon? Cause I'm ready to get this show on the road!


Ok.
I'm done now.



I can't remember where I ganked this picture from...if it's yours, then thanks! It gets me through a lot of less-than-stellar days.

Monday, August 24, 2009

My Sweet Boy

Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts.

That's when you find out who you are.

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Becoming, Part Two (Season 2, episode 22)


I'm saying goodbye to Spike on Thursday. He's ready to go, even if I'm not quite ready to let him. It's the least I can do for a soul that has given me so much. He's taken so many of the bad things and carried them himself. I'm just now realizing this, and I wish I had more time to thank him.


He was loved by everyone, and he will be missed by everyone.

Friday, August 21, 2009

So Go On, Let It Be...

I have a confession to make that my 21-year-old self would punch me for. I think that fall has become my favorite time of year. I love summer. I love the heat. I love the long days. But the older I get, the more September calls to me. And it's not the temperature or the shorter days. There's just something about the air and the light and they way the world looks. I don't know if it's nostalgia; the memory of going back to school, back to real life. I bought my first horse in September...I was 13. I always think of her when fall rolls around, but never really in June, which is when she died. There's history at the end of summer. It's old; you can feel it in the trees and the grass and the way the light looks at twilight. I can imagine in September, more than any other time of year, what life was like a century ago. It's like the world stops to breathe for a minute and everything is still.
Better Than Ezra (a totally non-crappy band that I still love) has a song called "This Time of Year." The first line of the song says,

Well there's a feeling in the air
Just like a Friday afternoon.
You can go there if you want,
But it fades too soon.

It goes on, later in the song--

You think about the good times,
and you live with all the bad.
You can feel it in the air,
feeling right this time of year.

Every time I listen to that song, I get all contemplative. I think of horses, school, trees, friends, Indian summers, the crunch of dry grass, foggy mornings...and things I haven't been able to put into words. I love to see pumpkins start to show up at farm stands that were full of watermelons and corn all summer long. I love the smell of freshly turned up peanuts--there is not another smell in the world that can take me home faster. I even love the smell of cotton defoliant. I look forward to oyster season and bonfires and the need for a hoodie when we're on the beach at night. It's comfortable, and happy, and just good.

Fall is old. Fall is a time to rest. A time to prepare for the long winter ahead. To look back and remember. To sit down for a minute after a busy summer. To visit with old friends and family we don't get to see often enough. To remember those that have passed.

I'm looking forward to fall this year. I need time to breathe, time to remember. It's good for the soul.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Don't Fuck With Rob OR Why Meg and Leighann Shouldn't Be Allowed Out In Public

Sorry for the long title. It's like an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Anyone? Anyone?

Ok. Leighann, Landen and I went to a dinner party last Friday night. It was quite lovely--a very good friend was hosting. I got to Brad and Leighann's and Brad moved my car so someone else could get their car out and loaded all of Landen's stuff up. The three of us go out to get in my car, and I notice, immediately, that Brad has defaced Car Rob. That's some bad juju, right there. I jumped out of the car and took off to beat his ass, but he's a quick little monkey when he wants to be. I know where he sleeps, so he'll eventually get what's coming to him. Anyway, I'm distraught, cause I really liked that picture of Rob. But it's all cool...I'm with my favorite people and we're going to eat. Two very good things.







Before After

So anyway, we were at the corner of Shore Drive and Great Neck Road, making a right onto Great Neck. This jackass behind me tries to jump in front of me WHILE I'M TURNING and almost cuts me off. When he realizes he can't get in front of me, he rides my ass through the turn lane and then jumps next to me and slows down when he gets up to my window. Naturally, I flick him off. Well, that seriously pissed him off. Like, head exploding pissed him off. He slams on his brakes, gets behind us, then flies into the left lane and comes up next to us again. We look over, and the creep is aiming his cell phone at us taking our picture! Then he sped off in front of us.

At this point, we were a little freaked out but it was funny more than anything else. We call Brad, tell him what happened, have a good laugh...all is well. Until we get about 3 miles up the road and are in the left turn lane when, you guessed it, here comes the jackass, in the lane next to us. That freak waited for us to catch up to him! When the light changed, he went forward and then veered into us, missing my car (the side Landen was on!) by about 5 inches. Leighann said the look on my face was priceless. She said that she just had a vision of me slamming this dude's head into the sidewalk while she's on the phone cussing at the police. Needless to say, we called the cops and gave them his license plate number and they said they'd put a call out to watch for him. I hope the bastard ended up in jail. He seemed like the type that would try to punch a cop.

Long story short, we got to the party, immediately pissed half the people there off (topics of conversation included our care of the child during the aforementioned car situation and the "fact" that pitbulls can't be housetrained because they are so crazy). Everyone left. Seriously. So that is why we don't ever go anywhere. Our house, our rules. If you don't like it, get the fuck out.

That was Friday. Saturday is THE BIG DAY. We're going to meet Carlisle Cullen (really Peter Facinelli...I imagine he really doesn't like being referred to by a fictional name). I put on makeup and a necklace (dressin' up to meet the movie star) and find another picture of Rob to try and balance out Brad's serious breech from the previous day. This is what I come up with.


Car Rob #2, AKA Sunglasses Car Rob

I prance my fancy, necklace-wearing ass out to my truck, Car Rob#2 and tape in hand. Go to tape him to the dash and the little bastard slips down into a crack. Gone. I'm too lazy to go all the way back into the house to find a replacement Rob, so I just start driving, worried that my car is now cursed.

Once again, I load Leighann and Landen up into my car (not letting Brad anywhere near it) and head out for the mall. We go in through Sears and right there in the doorway (practically) is the canopy that I promised I would buy Brad for his birthday but hadn't been able to find. And it was on sale for 1/2 price until 1:15. We looked at our phones...it was 1:16. But the wonderful salesman gave it to us for 1/2 price anyway. Things were looking up! Even though Car Rob #2 was hiding in my dash, he was still working his magic.

We practically skip through the mall, sniffing out Peter Facinelli (and stopping briefly for me to squeee over a French Bulldog puppy) and see that we can get right up to the stage. Screw standing in line! We could just bask in his wonderful glory front and center. Who needs a freakin' autograph? Paging Dr. Cullen (and his schmexy arms)

We have pictures and a video that will never be seen by Landen because 1) there's really inappropriate commentary from his mother and godmother and 2) he'll end up in therapy if he ever sees proof that we took him to a mall to meet Carlisle Cullen. Overall, it was a fantasitc couple of hours. And I must say that Leighann and I were absolutely the prettiest, most normal looking people there. I don't know what that says about the kind of crap I'm interested in, but whatever.

Next, we go to Chili's and guess what's playing on the radio? You'll never guess, so I'll just tell you. Homecoming King! Back to Mass-a-chus-etts!!! You have to sing that part really loud. People were staring. But it's Guster. In Chili's. After Peter. Woot woot!

We then head over to Mama and Papa Puckett's to get their mail and pick up some tomatoes and then go back to Casa de Meg for a little R & R and possibly some Twilight. Draw your own conclusions. Leighann suggests that we find another Car Rob, since Car Rob #2 is still in the depths of my dashboard. Mission accomplished, but nothing like Car Rob #1 or Car Rob #2. We get back in the car, and I wonder aloud "Maybe if I stick a piece of tape down there I can rescue him?" Well holy shit, it worked! Out comes Car Rob #2 in all is sexy British glory! He gets taped up front and center, and Car Rob #3 gets put in the console.


Back-Up Rob/Car Rob #3/Console Rob

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. The canopy was erected fairly easily, Chili's leftovers were fantastic, and the company was superb. Sunday dawned bright and early and after breakfast and mimosas at Cutty Sark, I had a pleasant afternoon with my horses. All in all a fantastic weekend. AFTER order was restored and Rob was back in rightful place.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A Gift For Me? You Shouldn't Have!


This arrived at the museum on Monday. It's a perfect Edward-sized, coffin-like box! Unfortunately, he wasn't included.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Fuck addiction.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My Commute Sucks.

Me driving.


Driving home today, it occurred to me that I waste a lot of time in my car. I spend at least 2 hours a day driving, and it's really hard to do much of anything productive while you're driving. I tried books on tape, but you really have to listen to them. I would get to work and realize I hadn't listened to the book, but had just daydreamed about buying a farm, becoming bff's with Rob, how cool it would be if I could bring my dogs to work...shit like that. Not productive.

And the hazards of my commute are plentiful. Since I've started working in Elizabeth City, I've seen a plane crash, been hit with a giant piece of plywood, seen dead bears (see picture), and have almost gotten hit by a blimp. And god forbid if it starts storming...there is nowhere to hide from a tornado in bfe Carolina/Chesapeake.
So, the plan is to either find a way to telecommute or marry rich. I'm banking on the second.