So Go On, Let It Be...

I have a confession to make that my 21-year-old self would punch me for. I think that fall has become my favorite time of year. I love summer. I love the heat. I love the long days. But the older I get, the more September calls to me. And it's not the temperature or the shorter days. There's just something about the air and the light and they way the world looks. I don't know if it's nostalgia; the memory of going back to school, back to real life. I bought my first horse in September...I was 13. I always think of her when fall rolls around, but never really in June, which is when she died. There's history at the end of summer. It's old; you can feel it in the trees and the grass and the way the light looks at twilight. I can imagine in September, more than any other time of year, what life was like a century ago. It's like the world stops to breathe for a minute and everything is still.

Better Than Ezra (a totally non-crappy band that I still love) has a song called "This Time of Year." The first line of the song says,

Well there's a feeling in the air

Just like a Friday afternoon.

You can go there if you want,

But it fades too soon.

It goes on, later in the song--

You think about the good times,

and you live with all the bad.

You can feel it in the air,

feeling right this time of year.

Every time I listen to that song, I get all contemplative. I think of horses, school, trees, friends, Indian summers, the crunch of dry grass, foggy mornings...and things I haven't been able to put into words. I love to see pumpkins start to show up at farm stands that were full of watermelons and corn all summer long. I love the smell of freshly turned up peanuts--there is not another smell in the world that can take me home faster. I even love the smell of cotton defoliant. I look forward to oyster season and bonfires and the need for a hoodie when we're on the beach at night. It's comfortable, and happy, and just good.

Fall is old. Fall is a time to rest. A time to prepare for the long winter ahead. To look back and remember. To sit down for a minute after a busy summer. To visit with old friends and family we don't get to see often enough. To remember those that have passed.

I'm looking forward to fall this year. I need time to breathe, time to remember. It's good for the soul.