I have had a fucktacular afternoon. And that's not fucktacular as in, "I've had a fucktacular afternoon. RPattz showed up on my front porch when I got home and....(fill in the blank)." Nope, my fucktacular afternoon sucked donkey balls.
After I cried for a while and threw some shit around, I sat down on the sofa (at 4:00), and the next time I looked up it was 7:54. For reals? What had I been doing? Let me tell you through text:
Meg: I've turned a corner with the depressed crazy cat lady thing. I'm watching Twilight on mute for the 2.5 time tonight and reading smutty fanfic. I'm self soothing.
Leighann: Breathe that goodness in!
Meg: Hummmmmmm...and eating Captain Crunch for dinner. Sexy.
Leighann: Yeah, but it's not vodka, and that makes you a good soother!
So that's what I did with my wasted "I'm gonna use vacation leave and [blah, blah, blah...all the shit that I was supposed to do that was going to make me happy]" afternoon. Watched Twilight on mute and read smutty fanfic (finished the Bella Swan Diaries...it was pretty good).
So the lesson learned here: Twilight trumps vodka for self soothing.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start the movie for 3rd time tonight and finish off another moonhine peach.
P.S. No matter how manic I'm being, I always laugh when Carlisle says "animal attack."
P.P.S Thanks to the girls at We Bite Pretty Hard for my copy of The Precious II. It makes me happier than Captain Cruch and moonshine peaches combined!
Buck up little lady! NM will be here soon and we'll all be so delirious that RL in general will disappear. Wow...who's gonna feed/cloth Baby Swiss. Can you board toddlers? I digress...
ReplyDeleteI see nothing wrong with the above-mentioned evening. *holds up a beer to your moonshine peach* "Cheers bitches!"
LOL It's like, a month away now, isn't it? *Sigh* Something to look forward too. I might actually spontaniously combust when the theater goes dark.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your kid is just as smart and wonderful as my "kid". Maybe if we just put them together in a room and they can take care of each other? I have a dog that's pretty good with kids too. Problem solved! ;)