The Haunted Airman=Con-den-sation

You know that episode of Family Guy where Peter meets Tom Brady and ends up playing for the Patriots but acts like a jackass and then gets sent to England to play football there? Yes? Good. Then remember when they got to England and Lois is watching watching the weird BBC sitcom/drama where the people keep saying "Con-den-sa-tion, sation, sation, sation"? That's what The Haunted Airman was like.



I bought it last weekend on a whim. Figured, what the hell? It's Rob and he's not going to be speaking in a crappy American accent, so it's a win-win no matter how the cards fall. And that's true. He almost looks a little zygote-y in places, but there are some fucktacular (new favorite word!) shots of his fingers. And jaw. And bare feet. I don't have a foot fetish or anything, but fuck me. He has hot feet. And there a few scenes where this really odd nurse greases up her hands and gives him a back massage. Weirdly tingley.

As for the actual plot, I have no freaking idea what was going on. He's a pilot, I think he gets paralyzed in a plane crash (I kept yelling "Is his dick broken? That's important information!" and then we had a long conversation about whether or not we would break up with someone if he got paralyzed from the waist down) and must bump his head because he goes a little wacky. His "aunt" sends him to some psych-ward (haha. pun intended) hospital in Wales (I spent a week in Wales one night. From what I can remember it was a good time). There's a weird hypnotizing doctor who wants to "get to know" whatever Rob's character's name is (sorry. I forgot). The rest of the story involves spiders, incestuous aunt love and a straight-edge razor. And sweater vests. He wears a sweater vest.

Overall, it was pretty awful. The best part is the trailer (special feature!). It says something about "Twilight's Robert Pattinson" which is funny because the movie came out in 2006. So they obviously went back and added that into the trailer later. But hey, it worked, because my dumbass spent $15.00 for this hot piece of trash.

I wouldn't recommend buying it, but I'd be glad to send it to you if you want to watch it. It could be like that project that elementary school kids do where they send the little paper guy to other towns and take his picture. Flat Stanley! I Googled that shit. And found the best picture ever....

He made a new friend! haha I hope the FBI doesn't come after me for laughing at this...

So that's my take on The Haunted Airman. I've spared you a picture of the front cover, because Rob has on makeup. Like full-on blush, eye shadow, lipstick...the works. And to counter-balance the picture of Prezzy Bush with his arts and crafts, here's Rob. Peace out and happy Friday!

Scruffy Mexi-Rob courtesty of Thinking of Rob.