Rob And I Are Soulmates! Thanks US Weekly!

Ok, so to start, I have to say that page 17 is my favorite. Mmmmmmm....

But then I got to the ABC's of Rob, or whatever the frick (I'm trying to cut down on the bad words) that is, and realized that, oh my god, we're meant for each other. Let's go through it...

A: American Idol. Seriously, Rob? I'm gonna chalk this one up to "US Weekly lies."

B: Bad Girls: I like music. I like guys who can sing. Word!

C: Cinnamon Toast Crunch: I have some of the in my pantry right now! Come over and have some!

D:Dive Bars: See: Meg's Saturday nights

E: Exorcist: Ok, this movie scares me. You can come over and hold my hand.

F: Flannel: I think I got rid of all my flannel in 1995, but you look hot in it. Rock on, Rob. Rock on.

G: Greek Yogurt: This is the defining letter of the alphabet. I eat the same yogurt every single morning. And it's not like it's Yoplait or something. That shit is hard to find. This morning, I imagined that Rob and I were eating our Fage Total 0% fat yogurt together. It was nice.

H: Hair Loss: I think Brendan Fraser's a douche too.

I: iPhone: Don't have one. Wish I did, but I'm a cheap MF and also too lazy to switch providers. I'll give you my number, though.

J: Job: Not so much into the Bible, Rob. But I feel like maybe you were being a jackass here. Funny, cause I like to joke Jesus too.

K: Kings of Leon: Hells yeah! I've seen them a couple of times.

L: London & LA: Been to both places. I dug London. Drank alot. I actually racked up a $400 bar tab one night and got out of it by telling the bartender, Pano, that he could hang out at the beach with us if he ever came to the US. I gave him my address, but never heard from him.

M: Mobs: I will knock a bitch out, Rob. Super strength.

N: Nude Scene: Yes please.

O: The Office: Love both versions. Fact.

P: Palihouse: Ok. I don't really have anything for this one. But I have eaten a traditional English breakfast. Not so good. I mean, baked beans? Really?

Q: Queens: My dad has an apartment there. Next time you visit, look me up.

R: Redkin Mousse: Yeah, I've used it.

S: Sidekicks: I always travel with an entourage. Safety in numbers, right?

T: Terrier: I have 2!! Not the same kind, but pitbulls are more of a man's dog anyway, and mine can't wait to meet their new daddy.

U: Uggs: Have not and will not ever own a pair. Never even tried them on.

V: Valium: Sometimes you just need something to take the edge off. I have Xanax in the cabinet.

W: Working out: You don't like it, I don't like it. Maybe we can come up with an alternate form of "working out." Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

X: Exes: Yeah, I got a few. I hate them.

Y: Yankees: You look hot in that hat. I'm cool with it.

Z: Zoolander: The teen model pictures of you are creepy, partly because you look like a girl and partly because it makes me feel like the folks from "To Catch a Predator" are going to come after me if I look at them. But, did you know that Alexander Skarsgard was in Zoolander? That's cool. We'll just think of him in this instance.

So there you have it. Can't argue with those facts, can you?