A Parakeet With a British Accent....

Wait for it....

I'm having what I've started referring to as PTRD (Post Traumatic Rob Disorder). I'm on Rob overload. I can't think, I can't sleep, I can't eat. Eh, who am I kidding...I'm eating. But yeah, it's bad. I mean, how about that new trailer? Holy fuck! That shot where he's standing there with his shirt off and it looks like he doesn't have any pants on (we call that The Man V around my house)? I need a cupcake, right now!!! And then last night at the VMA's when he was all happy drunk and slurring his words? Adorable. We celebrated the adorable with shots of Jager and me blowing an airhorn inside the house. I am not going to be able to sit still during that movie. Hmmmm...maybe I should take an airhorn to the movie....

And then there was the season finale of True Blood. How fantastic was that? I seriously got tears in my eyes when I thought they were going to kill Sam. I was on a bit of an emotional overload, but still...it was too much! And then the way he totally rammed his horn into Maryann. Sick. My only complaint is Bill. I cannot freaking stand him. The whole second half of the episode, I was chanting, "Eric come kill him, Eric come kill him, Eric come kill him." And then he proposed? What the hell, yo? I wanna see Bill tortured. By Eric. Naked.

The Redskins did lose, which sucked, and my fantasy football team (Cracker's Crushers, named after my super totally cool parakeet) is in last place. It was not a good weekend for football. Meh...at least McNabb cracked a few ribs.

And speaking of parakeets....I read somewhere that the bird who had the world record for saying the most words was a parakeet. Soooooooo...after eating year old, moonshine soaked peaches on Saturday night, we decided that we needed to teach Crackrock to talk like Rob. How cool would that be? We started a list of phrases and I'm going to send Rob a tape recorder and ask him to repeat the list so that I can play it over and over for Crackers. Think it'll work? If you have any suggestions for Rob phrases my parakeet should learn, send 'em my way. My ultimate goal is that Rob will realize how totally perfect we are for each other and show up at my house one day (since my return address will be on the envelope). My psychic said that I was going to meet the man of my dreams this month, so I need to get on this shit, stat!